Bummer! ‘Screaming Children Will Not Be Tolerated’ at Sydney Shopping MallMeredith Carroll
If there’s one thing that parents of toddlers love, it’s our screaming children. It’s pretty much the sole reason we all reproduce — so we can go into public places and watch our offspring melt down spectacularly. If that public place is in an enclosed space, like, say, an airplane or a shopping mall, even better.
That’s why it’s unfortunate the Dee Why Grand Shopping Centre in Sydney, Australia, has deemed it impossible for us to go there anymore to eat.
According to Yahoo News, there’s now a notice from the mall’s management that reads: “Stop. Parents please be considerate of others customers using the food court. Screaming children will not be tolerated in the centre.”
The sign was posted after complaints were made of excessive noise near a play area. Because, as everyone knows, play areas are best utilized silently.
The Dee Why Grand purportedly caters to young families, but apparently only young families whose children are mute. Because anything else is considered out-of-control.
It’s a shame, really, because if we can’t nudge our kids to have temper tantrums in public, where’s the fun in it for us? And if a self-serve, fast-food court in a wide open room is now considered sacred, quiet space where people are entitled to peace and silence, shall we try going back to real restaurants, or should we just stay home until our kids are old enough to drive? Because citizens who aren’t old enough to keep their emotions in check at all times aren’t worthy of curly fries and a vanilla cone, right?
Because our occasionally out-of-control children are out-of-control by our choice, clearly. Because all screaming children are necessarily brats with overly indulgent parents. Because all parents should and want to have total control of their children each and every moment. Because when a child is tired or hungry or cranky or not feeling well, we can necessarily control them. We shouldn’t let them express their feelings or get mad or have a tantrum when the mood strikes them. And when you see them pitching a fit? We’re obviously allowing them to do it. Because we’re idiots and our children our savages.
Oh, well. We’ll just have to unleash them at the next mall. Muwhahahaha
Photo credit: iStock