Constant Chaos and Failure: An Overwhelmed Mother

Constant chaos… an extremely accurate depiction of my life as a mother.

I am starting to come to terms with it, but it doesn’t take away the feeling of failure that goes a long with it sometimes. That picture to the left was taken yesterday as we sat down to take family pictures at the apple orchard. Something we do annually.

It seems like every year we go, we have an additional child with us. But, that is totally not my point today.

I find it hard to open up when I am blogging sometimes, especially on Toddler Times because you know, people on the internet can totally be cruel. More often than we would all like to admit. But today, I think I need to open up for every overwhelmed mother in America because no matter how many of the haters out there look at us and laugh, or spout off a snide remark about how they can do it, or they don’t see what the problem is, there are hundreds of us who want to laugh at them as we chuck them the middle finger. Right ladies?

I never thought parenthood would be as overwhelming as it is and, for me, it really wasn’t until we added our third child into the mix that I felt truly outnumbered. I have more kids than arms, more kids than parents, and more kids than sane brain cells left inside this noggin of mine!

But, one thing I have learned through the past 17 months our daughter has been here (Wow! She is almost 18 months already?!) is… you can’t win it all. You aren’t going to win all the battles, you aren’t going to get everything done in a day, and if you are a working mother with responsibilities outside your family… something will for sure get neglected along the way. It is not being lazy or budgeting time incorrectly. It is just a sad fact of life.

We beat ourselves up over it constantly. I know I do. I know several readers on my personal site do. Heck, I know friends of mine with children who do.

We are just harder on ourselves and society doesn’t stop to say they understand, or it will be OK. Instead we see more judgmental magazine covers or super nanny shows which make us feel like we have really screwed our children up for life because we let them have that Capri Sun juice box or because our three-year-old said, “Sh*t.”

Do I have a cure all to the madness? Nope!
Do I have a solution for all the overworked mothers out there (which doesn’t include lots of wine)? Nope!

My only suggestion remains to do the best that you can and not to be too hard on yourself. It will get better, it always does. It won’t be magical or overnight, but if you stop being so hard on yourself, I promise it will get easier. Oh, and telling those judgmental haters off always adds an extra spring in your step. At least for me it does!

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job.  -Roseanne Barr

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