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How to Potty Train Your Toddler in 38 Easy Steps

Image source: Thinkstock
Image source: Thinkstock

Thanks to Pull-Ups® Training Pants for sponsoring this post.

Planning to start your potty training journey? With this simple guide, you’ll breeze right through it! Amaze your family and friends! Become a toilet training expert! Win the potty wars … or at least emerge from battle, months later, with a deep knowledge of the location of every single semi-clean public toilet in your town.

1. Start by noticing your toddler’s intense interest in the potty and fascination with flushing anything: all the toilet paper on the roll, pebbles, dolls shoes. Yes! It is time for potty training!

2. Pick up a nice new potty seat. Encourage your toddler to try it out.

3. Cheer when your toddler sets his teddy on the seat.

4. Then change him after he poops in his diaper.

5. Scour Pinterest for the best potty charts: train themed, princesses, spaceships blasting off to potty success. Get the bathroom all set up with the shiny new chart and a massive stack of stickers.

6. Bring a stack of toddler-friendly reading material into the bathroom to convince the toddler to sit for more than two seconds on the potty.

7. Have a “no pants” weekend: a weekend when your toddler stays confined to rooms with hardwood or tile and runs around in just a t-shirt.

8. Hand out one star sticker when your toddler pees in the potty.

9. Step in one pee puddle.

10. Clean up 17 more pee puddles.

11. Discover you are sitting on a suspicious wet spot on the couch. Sniff it. Acknowledge that sniffing a wet spot on the couch may be a parenting low, right alongside discovering baby poop in your hair.

12. Spend the next few weeks with your toddler in Pull-Ups®, for everyone’s sanity.

13. Get all geared up to start again, armed with new potty books and an owl-shaped timer, plus special undies that your toddler loves so much, he wears them on his head. The clean ones, you hope.

14. Set the owl timer to go off every 30 minutes to remind everyone it’s time for a potty break.

15. Try any method possible to get your toddler in to the potty. Race him to the bathroom. Waddle like penguins. Sing a special, unique, soon to be award-winning potty song that relies heavily on the words potty, yay, and snotty.

16. Move on to peer pressure: talk about how awesome it is that your toddler’s best buddy uses the potty, and all big kids use the potty. Big kids get to do cool stuff like eat ice cream and flush toilets. Babies have to stick with milk and diapers.

17. Watch that strategy backfire when your toddler proclaims he is a baby, and will be a baby forever, and rolls on the floor demanding a diaper and bottle.

18. Try princess pressure: tell your toddler that all princesses pee in the potty. Yes, even Elsa. Even queens. Especially queens. Tell her that Elsa’s ice castle has a massive, sparkling, diamond-encrusted potty throne, they just cut the bathroom scenes out of the movie to make time for singing snowmen.

19. Back off all this potty business for a while.

20. Rejoice when your toddler eventually pees in the potty three times in one day.

21. Stop cheering when she pees on the couch. Again.

22. And your lap during story time at the library.

23. And then refuses to pee in public bathrooms after one too many automatic flushes go off and scare her.

24. Throw the tenth pair of peed-in undies of the day into your laundry basket.

25. Watch in shock as your toddler pees in the front yard on the tulips — just like the doggy, he proclaims proudly. It’s so much closer to his sandbox than the bathroom that’s way down the hallway and inside the house.

26. Discover a few days later that your little one has pooped right next to the potty, on the bath mat. At least it was in the bathroom.

27. Dig deep for new strategies. Try reverse psychology: tell your toddler not to pee in the potty. Ever.

28. This, too, backfires. He agrees that is a good plan, and, for a week, he doesn’t.

29. Grit your teeth as you clean poop out of undies. This is serious, heavy, stinky toddler poop, the poop of someone who eats roughage and Cheetos, not the adorable inoffensive poop of breastfed babies.

30. Set up bigger potty rewards: chocolate kisses – one for pee and two for poop. This goes well, until the toddler climbs up on the counter and generously helps herself to the entire rewards bag.

31. Do your best to convince the toddler that the potty does not lead to Monster Land, and no alligators will emerge from the potty to snap her butt.

32. Begin to worry that your life will be nothing but laundry and pee clean up, just like Charlie Bucket’s mother, but without the comic relief of Oompa Loompas. Though toddlers are a little like Oompa Loompas: big bellies, striped t-shirts, with stiff-legged dances and songs of their own creation.

33. Buy more undies. Hit up Goodwill for even more spare pants.

34. Pick up extra Pull-Ups®.

35. Remember what your mother always told you: no one goes off to college in diapers. It will happen. Eventually. Some day. Hopefully.

36. Wait. Wait until your toddler is ready. Ignore all potty training advice and tales of potty-trained one-year-olds dancing around in dry, pristine days of the week undies, those adorable little snots.

37. A few months later, cheer when your toddler pees on the potty, quietly, to yourself, so as not to scare him off. Cheer again when he pees two more times, then says he wants to wear undies all day. Then puts his undies on, by himself.

38. Break out into a celebratory dance when he keeps those same undies dry all day, and does the same with new undies for five days in a row.

Success! So easy, right?

Starting your potty training journey? Visit the Pull-Ups® Big Kid Academy for tools, activities, and resources to make potty training fun for you and your toddler!

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Article Posted 5 years Ago

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