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If Toddlers Were in Charge of Reality TV Programming

Image source: Babble/Thinkstock
Image source: Babble/Thinkstock

Spring is in the air, which means over here at Toddler-TV, we’re gearing up for a new season of drool, drama, tantrums, and giggles.

Tune in to find out which tots spill-all, who refuses to share, and which diva-in-the-making pinched their sister when mom wasn’t looking. This season is full of so many “Oh no she didn’t” moments, you won’t want to miss a beat!

Disclaimer: Toddler-TV is not responsible for any nudity or bodily fluids displayed on our live shows. Toddlers are unpredictable, and diapers easily removed.

Real World: In Utero  Monday, 8:00 PM

Find out what happens when six strangers, picked to live in a womb, stop being polite and start kicking each other for hogging all the amniotic fluid.

Keeping up with the Kid Fashion Bloggers  Monday, 9:00 PM

Follow the lives of four fashionista tots as they battle to stay on top of their Instagram game, and weigh the decision of whether neon tutus or ’90s hair scrunchies will be the next “it” item.

Survivor: The Park — Tuesday, 8:00 PM

Find out what happens when you put five toddlers in a park with one bucket, four Cheerios, and a permanent marker.

Top Breastfeeder — Tuesday, 9:00 PM

Watch as 10 babies compete for the title of Top Breastfeeder. Who will have the best latch, positioning, and hungry cry, earning them the highly coveted prize of the new Le Leche league spokes-baby? Only time will tell.

The Real Toddlers of Montessori — Tuesday, 10:00 PM

Tune in to the drama as 10 toddlers navigate the tiny tables, developmentally-appropriate activities, and cube sized pieces of food as they see who can become the most creative and philosophical of them all.

Are You Smarter Than a Two Week Old — Wednesday, 7:30 PM

24-month-olds test their gross and fine motor skills against those of their younger tiny-person brethren. Who will remember where that rubber ducky was hidden and how to fit that square peg in a round hole?

Project Onesie — Wednesday, 8:00 PM

Up-and-coming humans compete for the chance to have their onesie design featured in the next Gerber Baby campaign. Tune in to see what fashion magic they create with a white onesie, finger paints … and glitter.

Top Chef: Mushy Peas — Thursday, 9:00 PM

Baby chefs battle it out in food mashing competitions across the nation. Watch the Texans shred brisket, the Californians crumble granola, and the Hawaiians pulverize pineapple.

Million Dollar Play Pens — Thursday, 10:00 PM

Enter the world of the infant elite, where mobiles are made of crystal, cloth diapers are lined with cashmere, and the spoons are, very literally, made of silver.

Duckling Dynasty — Friday, 8:00 PM

Watch as the five little ducks make their harrowing journey back to mama duck, whilst narrowly avoiding the greasy fingers of rich rednecks.

 

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Article Posted 5 years Ago

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