On Missing My Life Before ChildrenBeth Anne Ballance
Sometimes I miss what life used to be like.
I know, I know. I signed on for parenthood the moment we decided to pull the goalie & let my husband’s swimmers fly up the birth canal. Lots of heartburn & nine months later, we said goodbye to sleepy Saturdays as we knew them, calm dinners, & Cole Haan shoes. And the trade-offs are amazing in bedtime stories & slobbery kisses & blue eyes that light up when I walk into a room. It is worth it, oh yes it is. Our little guy is a whopping hurricane of fun & happiness & he has stolen my heart completely, but I think it’s fair to say that sometimes? I have twinges where I miss our “old life.”
I miss sleeping in on Saturday mornings. That feeling of rolling over well-rested with the sunshine pouring in, lazing in bed an extra twenty minutes & then sipping a cup of coffee quietly with a good book in my lap & a fire warming the hearth.
I miss relaxing vacations. Sleeping in, staying on the beach for twelve hours, plowing through three books in one week.
I miss quiet car rides home. I used to decompress from the stress of the office with good tunes & the windows down. (Now I either have a screaming toddler or Sesame Street blasting in my ear. Needless to say, by the time I get home I am even more wound up than when I left the office.)
I miss my body. Yeah, cute early-twenty-something in the elevator. I remember what it was like before a husband & baby, when I had a gym membership & lifetime supply of Lean Cuisine. I don’t hate you for being darling & toned, because I know that in ten years, you’ll probably have hips as wide as the Grand Canyon, too.
The “good news” is that the sleeping in & quiet car rides & vacations will come back. (The body probably won’t.) And then I will be aching for these days of excitement & chaos with small children. So then I’ll have to write for Babble again on how I miss my life with children, which is my ultimate plan to have you ingesting my words for the next 50 years. Mwuahahaha.
If you’re totally honest, what do you miss most about the pre-children days? The cute little sports car you used to have now that you’re driving a Caravan? Or maybe you too miss the days of skinny jeans.
P.S. – A little secret? missing these things every once & a while is quite fine & normal. I promise.
Related: The prenatal bucket list: 10 things every woman should do before having kids