33 Reasons Why My Toddler Can’t Sleep

Bedtime excuses flood out the minute a crib becomes a toddler bed, and little ones become masters at bedtime-delaying tactics. Can you blame them? They just want to stay up and be a part of the mysterious nighttime stuff that happens after 8 PM, like doing the dishes and sweeping up dried Play-Doh bits.

Here’s a list of 33 reasons why my toddler absolutely, positively, cannot go to sleep.

  1. I have to go to the potty.
  2. I need a tissue. From the blue tissue box. The one that’s out in the kitchen, next to the cookies.
  3. My Elsa doll doesn’t like it when I sing to her!
  4. My water is too drippy.
  5. The sheets are bunched up.
  6. The footy jammies you said would be too warm in August are too warm.
  7. I can’t sleep without my favorite pony — the purple one I left halfway across the country at Grandma’s house.
  8. I didn’t get to show you my forward roll.
  9. I need to floss and brush the back of my teeth. After bedtime is the perfect time for oral health.
  10. I did a forward roll off the bed and hit my head.
  11. You didn’t show me your forward roll!
  12. I have to pee.
  13. I’m hungry. Because I ate a single blueberry for dinner.
  14. There’s a giraffe outside my bedroom window.
  15. I need to know what happens to Sam at the end of Green Eggs & Ham. Does he try it? Does he like green eggs and ham? Can I have green eggs and ham for breakfast? How about right now?
  16. I have to pee. No, really this time.
  17. How many hours are in the night? How many hours are in the day? How many hours can I fill up by asking this question over and over and over again?
  18. I can’t find my fluffy doggy.
  19. I haven’t named my fluffy doggy.
  20. My fluffy doggy is tickling my nose and making me sneeze.
  21. I need a kiss. On the other cheek. And now each of my 312 stuffed animals needs a goodnight kiss.
  22. My knee hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts, my toenail hurts. Even my eyebrows hurt!
  23. Why is it fall? Who fell? Am I going to fall? Does it hurt the leaves when they fall? What about the roof? Will it fall?
  24. I drank all my drippy water and now I have to pee again.
  25. The rockets on my rocket ship jammies are trying to blast off.
  26. Where did the sun go? Why isn’t the moon out? Who made the stars twinkle?
  27. I want to wear my blue pants. I don’t care that they’re in the washer. I want to wear them! Now!
  28. The sheep you told me to count keep baa-ing at me.
  29. The tooth fairy wants to take my teeth and I need all of them to eat cookies.
  30. There might be a spider in the corner of the room, or a monster, or a cricket.
  31. I want to sleep in your bed.
  32. I miss you when I’m sleeping.
  33. I’m too tired to sleep.
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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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