The Most Thankless Tasks for a ToddlerBeth Anne Ballance
I love my kid. I love being his momma and watching him grow and learn things. 99.9% of the time, he is the absolute light of my life and worth every bit of tears and sweat that got us to this moment on this day, when he’s three and I’m his momma and we just love the snot out of each other.
Taking care of him is like, the most thankless job ever.
That sound you hear is the rabble of agreement from mothers for the past dozens of centuries along with mixtures of, “DUH.”
Sometimes it feels like the things I try to do best for him, from his nutrition to his pajamas to his car seat are the things he resents most in his life. Take the car seat – something that protects his life. I pick out the best one, make sure it fits, burn mad calories wrestling him into every day, and need to go to confession over the swear words I say every few months when I adjust the straps. Then today, he tells me that he hates his car seat.
Or how I make him this crazy-awesome bath with awesome bubbles and new toys and he’s like, “Can I take a shower tonight?”
::sigh:: Motherhood, I love you. I really do. But you are tough. Here’s my list of the most thankless things I do for the kid. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Cooking for him 1 of 7He asks for pancakes. I make the most glorious chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream and he looks at me like I just served him dirt. Okay, kid. Next time you get Ragu in a can. Whatever.
Getting him dressed 2 of 7He's a slippery little eel, that kid. I love him, but I've also been known to grab him by the ankles & drag his tush over to me so I can wrangle him into a pair of jeans. Then he laughs and dances away & I drag him back for his tshirt. No wonder I'm sweating by the time I get to the car.
His taste in music 3 of 7I can't tell you how many times I've listened to the opening song from Cars on the way to daycare. Or the grocery store. Or the park. I can recite the entire thing but I'm not allowed to sing it because apparently "that's his song."
Cleaning the house 4 of 7The moment I mop the floor, he tracks in mud. We dump out toys to play, he cries when I ask him to clean up. Let's face it - as the popular saying goes, keeping house with a toddler is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
The carseat 5 of 7Sure, it's for his protection. But getting him in & out, him wanting to do it by himself, or me having to hulk-man him into it? No, thank you. Plus the pain of adjusting the straps every few months.
Laundry 6 of 7It's the never ending story, lalalalalalalalalala! (Do you have that earworm yet?) I feel like no matter how much I try to keep up with his clothing, what he wants to wear is always dirty.
Potty Training 7 of 7Is there anything I can say about this that I haven't said before? I hate potty training. I offer him prizes and treats and he still prefers for me to wipe his bum. COOL.