The Natural Progression of Why Parenting Sucks

worstpartsWe are knee-deep in the final stages of potty training and it’s no fun. I texted my mom last night almost in tears and she replied:

Ah, the wonders of parenthood!

She’s raised five kids and has been a wonderful sounding board for me over the past 3.5 years, so it’s not like she was being rude to me. She was sincerely reflecting back on her days as a young mom and man, does she speak the truth!

The truth being that parenting is full of “OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST EVER!” moments where you think it can’t possibly get any more stressful, frustrating, exhausting. Then you get over that hump and life is good for about 2.5 seconds, but then the baby/toddler/kid learns something new that will make you cry into your wine glass on a nightly basis.

But hey! This is what we signed up for, right?

Here are the moments I’ve had as a momma, from pregnancy right up to…well, today. (Also, if you can’t laugh at this, we can’t be friends. The end.)

  • It all starts at pregnancy 1 of 19
    It all starts at pregnancy
    Everyone else looks glowy and beautiful, but you're just miserable and tired and want this baby out. NOTHING could be worse than pregnancy...
  • Contractions suck 2 of 19
    Contractions suck
    ...until you hit that first round of contractions. Bonus points if there's Pitocin behind it. You swear the baby will be easier to handle once he gets out of you...
  • You’ll never sleep again 3 of 19
    You'll never sleep again
    ...but you're probably not thinking that at 1am, 3am, 4am, 4:30am, and then up for the day at 6am. Don't worry, at least you can put the kid in the bassinet now because...
  • Don’t you dare put me down 4 of 19
    Don't you dare put me down
    ...soon the baby won't let you put her down. Anywhere. She only wants to be in your arms 24 hours a day and nobody else will do. The dishes pile up, you haven't showered in 4 days, and you think it can't get any worse...
  • Sleep Training 5 of 19
    Sleep Training
    ...then you decide it's time for her to sleep in her crib for the entire night. Get ready for weeks of crying into your pillow while she cries it out. Nothing is more heart-wrenching than hearing your baby cry...
  • The First Sick 6 of 19
    The First Sick
    ...until he gets sick for the first time. Then your heart is breaking because he feels bad, but he's also incredibly grumpy and you're missing work and you have to find a way to get meds into the kid. Which couldn't suck worse than...
  • Teething Terror 7 of 19
    Teething Terror
    ...cutting teeth. Right? Wrong. The drool, the crying, the whining. You think it can't get worse until...
  • Baby Proofing 8 of 19
    Baby Proofing
    ...the kid starts walking, putting everything in his mouth, and basically destroying your house. Want to get your hair dryer from underneath the sink? Good luck with that locked code to keep your new toddler out of your hairspray. Which couldn't be more frustrating at 7am than...
  • Battle of the bottle 9 of 19
    Battle of the bottle up the bottle, pacifier, etc. You think that's the worst until...
  • Finding a Preschool 10 of 19
    Finding a Preschool realize it's preschool time. OH MY GOD. What school? Uniforms? Lunches? Teachers? Price? It's the most stressful decision of parenting, but it's only made worse because then...
  • Picky, Picky 11 of 19
    Picky, Picky
    ...your toddler decides she hates everything but cottage cheese with ketchup on it. You fight at every meal and swear nothing in parenting can be worse. Which is true, until you realize...
  • Terrible Twos, Threes, Fours 12 of 19
    Terrible Twos, Threes, Fours
    ...that you're in this for the long haul. Picky eating is just the tip of the toddler iceberg. Which means...
  • Learning to Discipline 13 of 19
    Learning to Discipline's time to find her currency. Rewards? Punishment? Just be consistant, which is the hardest part. You've finally established time outs and rules but then...
  • Goodbye, Containment Area 14 of 19
    Goodbye, Containment Area
    ...she climbs out of her bed. You play TAPS for your ability to snooze 5 minutes while she plays in her crib because it is the era of the big kid bed. Training her to sleep in that is no easy task, but getting her to bed gets even worse because....
  • The Bath Hating Phase 15 of 19
    The Bath Hating Phase
    ...he hates baths now. Which means bedtime is a fight every. single. night. until you collapse on the couch at 7:30pm with a large glass of wine. There's no way you could be this exhausted or frustrated at the end of the day...
  • Potty Training 16 of 19
    Potty Training
    ...or so you think. But then POTTY TRAINING and OH MY GOD I NEED MORE WHISKY. It is the worst part of parenting, hands down. But it's not the most annoying because soon...
  • But Why? Why? Why? 17 of 19
    But Why? Why? Why?
    ...every question is met with "why?" and you find yourself repeating the hateful "Because Mommy said so!" before you can even stop yourself. The only consolation you have is 1-2 hours in the afternoon...
  • No Nap Nelly 18 of 19
    No Nap Nelly
    ,..until he drops the nap. For good. And angels cry. You think surely, you can't make it through parenting at this rate. The bummer is....
  • Sibling Rivalry 19 of 19
    Sibling Rivalry
    ...there's always more. And if you have another one, you get to do the whole thing over again! Cheers, momma!

all photo credit:  istock photo


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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