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25 Things I Tell My Toddler (That I Should Be Telling Myself)

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

I’m quick with the requests (demands) for my toddler, but not so quick to follow my own seemingly wise words. What if those words were translated by my “good angel” into advice that helped me curb a few of my less-than-stellar habits?

I’m giving that good angel (who is more likely an opinionated fairy) a moment to shine and respond to all the chitchat I’m consistently doling out to my son.

1. Only one cup of juice.

Only one cup of wine.

2. Sugar and fried foods will make you tired.

Sugar and fried foods will make you tired, cranky, puffy, lazy, and hungry.

3. Clean up before you move to another activity.

Close your 15 browser windows before you open a new one to browse Amazon.

4. Outside activity is good for you.

Outside activity will make you less neurotic.

5. Put on your shoes.

Change into real pants.

6. Only one episode.

I’m talking to you, late-night-Netflix-addict.

7. Yes, you need to take a bath.

When was the last time you washed your hair?

8. Be nice to your friends.

Be nice to yourself.

9. Don’t get too muddy.

Go jump in that puddle — you need it.

10. Eat your vegetables.

Cook some vegetables.

11. Please be patient, I’m going as fast as I can.

Take a breath, you’re going faster than you should.

12. It’s. Time. For. Bed.

Yes, please.

13. Share your toys.

Share your dessert.

14. Put down my phone.

Put down your phone.

15. You don’t need all these toys — let’s give some away.

You don’t need all these clothes …

16. Give Daddy a hug goodbye.

Give your husband a big kiss goodbye.

17. You can do it all by yourself, just try.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

18. Watch out for cars.

Watch out for pedestrians.

19. Use your indoor voice.

Use your compassionate voice.

20. I’ll give you until the count of five to do as I say.

I’ll give you until the count of five to take a deep breath.

21. You won’t know you don’t like it until you try.

You won’t know you can’t do it until you try.

22. Ask your daddy.

Ask your intuition.

23. Don’t run with food in your mouth.

Don’t drive with a phone in your hand.

24. Please be gentle with your body.

Please be gentle with your soul.

25. We don’t eat cookies for breakfast.

Well, maybe just one.

… and finally: do as I say, not as I do.

Maybe, I’ll start taking a second to process whether I’m willing to accept the same requests (demands) I’m giving my son before I verbalize them. Maybe.

Article Posted 2 years Ago

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