There are plenty of gift guides out there decrying that they know just what moms want for Christmas, but as I look through those lists I often can’t help but feel like the people writing them just don’t get it. Sure, I like candles and fancy hand creams as much as the next girl, but many of the things I actually want for Christmas can’t be bought at a store. (However, let’s be real, some of them definitely can, and I certainly wouldn’t turn up my nose at a Madewell shopping spree. Just sayin’.)
As such, I have compiled a list of items from A to Z that moms will really want for Christmas. The mom in your life may not fit the bill for all of these, but I’m pretty sure she would be pretty stoked about many of them.
A: Alone Time
I’m pretty sure every mom would agree with me on this one. A little time to oneself would be a fantastic Christmas gift regardless of how that alone time was spent. Maybe consider getting the mom in your life a movie gift certificate so she can perhaps to see a movie before it’s on Redbox for once (gasp!), or maybe a certificate to her favorite coffee shop so she can go journal or just unwind with a good book or a magazine. She’ll love you for it.
B: Boobs That Don’t Sag
Perhaps I’m projecting with this one, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and venture to say that most of us ladies who have nursed babies have less than perky breasts these days. If you can come up with a magical, non-surgical way to get rid of that droop that would be pretty awesome, but we would probably just settle for a pretty bra too.
Oh, how blissfully wonderful it would be if I just had a double of myself for those days that get a little bit crazy. I could just tap out when it came to do a particularly unpleasant task or when I was at my wits’ end and lacking patience with my kiddo. Mommy clones for the win!
D: Dish Washer
I said dish washer; not to be confused with dishwasher because we already have one of those. I want an actual person to come do my dishes for me … an actual dish washer because even though I have a dishwasher, I still dread washing them. Perhaps an “IOU” voucher for a month of dish washing or something along those lines could serve as your gift. That sounds like pure heaven.
Delicious elixir of life and energy. Moms could always use an extra caffeine jolt — particularly the good stuff and I’m not talking to you, Starbucks. Get your baby mama (or your actual mama) a gift to her favorite local coffee shop so she can pop in from time to time to treat herself.
F: Food Not Made By Me
I’m not going to mince words here: I HATE cooking. I used to like it, but the fact that I have to do it on the daily sapped all the joy out of it. Cooking breakfast, lunch and most times dinner, too, for a little one is kind of a lot and definitely not my favorite task. I would love the gift of freezer meals for a month, or a subscription to one of those Dream Dinner services. Food made by someone else always tastes better in my tired mama opinion. Maybe some moms genuinely love cooking (I’m sure plenty do), but if the mom in your life just isn’t a fan, then this could be the perfect gift.
G: Grocery Getter
I loathe going to the grocery store. It’s probably the one task I dread the most all week. Towing a toddler in and out of multiple grocery stores every week is not exactly a zen experience. Offer to do the grocery shopping as a gift to the mom in your life if she detests grocery getting, too.
H: Homemade Gift
Most moms will agree — homemade, heartfelt gifts are always the best ones. I try really hard to make thoughtful homemade gifts for others when I can, and I always appreciate when the same is done for me.
I: Infinite Patience
Magical quantities of patience would be a pretty fantastic gift, now wouldn’t it? I could definitely use it during particular days with my toddler — that’s for sure!
J: Junk Food
I’m not suggesting a junk food binge or anything, but what I do think would be an awesome gift? If I could magically eat that dark chocolate truffle without a little one trying to finagle a bite (or two … or three). I want to have a treat all to myself without sharing!
K: Kid-Free Potty Breaks
Yeah. I realize I said “potty” break, but bathroom break didn’t fit on the slide, and besides that I usually end up saying “potty” anyway since it somehow entered my vernacular during the post-mom shift. Who knows? Anyway, peeing unattended without a little one pawing at you? That sounds real awesome. Let’s make that one happen — shall we, Santa?
I didn’t know what the male version of a laundress was, but I’d take one of those just as eagerly. Basically just someone to come do my laundry…and fold it… nd put it away. Moms and their laundry battle is seemingly never-ending, so someone to take that off our plate would be pretty cool.
M: Magic Hair
Say goodbye to bad hair days! With this gift you can go days without washing and styling your hair, and you’ll still look like a clip from a shampoo commercial! Now if only I could make this a reality…
N: New Closet
Ever since I had my daughter, my closet is a bit of a disaster. I have a few items I really like, but for the most part things are weird sizes and more than half of it is unworn. I know many moms are like this — in between fluctuating sizes from pregnancy to postpartum and beyond, to the concept of having to dress a completely different body — their wardrobes have gotten a little sad. I would love to have someone who’s objective go through my closet, organize it, and then refill it with new loveliness. Sounds easy enough, right?
O: One More Hour of Sleep
Always one more hour of sleep…I’m pretty sure this is my new life’s wish, because whatever amount I’m able to squeak out is just never quite enough to leave me feeling truly refreshed.
P: Personal Assistant
A personal assistant to keep mom organized and to run all those little mundane errands? Yes, please!
Oh, for the love of all things quiet. Let mom remember what peace and quiet sounds like once again…it’s certainly been awhile since she’s heard it.
Just a little break in the day to maybe take a nap or put our feet up and watch a show that isn’t a cartoon. Yep, that’s what we want.
Moms are usually the ones setting up the surprises, but actually being the one surprised would be pretty fun. A surprise dinner, a surprise trip, really any type of surprise would be appreciated.
T: Thank You
Being a mom is often a thankless job — particularly if you have little ones who aren’t quite on the level communication-wise. Sometimes the best gift a mom can receive is an earnest and heartfelt “thank you.” Let her know you appreciate all she does.
U: Uninterrupted Conversation
Uninterrupted conversations pretty much don’t happen when you’re a mom. Even if your kids aren’t interrupting you with some request or medical emergency, your mind is always going a million miles a minute and you get easily distracted. A magical remote that came with a pause button so moms could have uninterrupted conversation would be truly fantastic.
Wine, beer, or a cocktail…really, any type of booze. It’s been a long day. Mommy needs a drink.
W: Worry Button
Many moms worry…it’s just a mom thing. A button that we could just push to shut all the worries off would be great.
X: X-Ray Vision
You know, so we could keep see through doors and around corners to be sure our little ones weren’t up to mischief.
Y: Youth Freezing Serum
I’m not talking about face creams for lines and wrinkles (though those are nice too), I’m talking about a magical serum to freeze our children’s youth…or at least slow it down. As challenging as motherhood can be, it’s still such a truly magical time, and I’m sure most moms would agree that it flies by way too quickly, and we sometimes wish we could just freeze our little ones in time for a bit and have them stay little forever — or grow just a tiny bit slower.
Z: Calorie Zapper
Last but not least: a calorie zapper. Yes, I realize it doesn’t technically start with a Z, but there’s a Z in there so I figured you’d cut me some slack. I’d like a fantastical zapping machine I could point at high-calorie foods to zap some of the calories out. Presto change-o, that burger and fries just got a little bit healthier!